Services

Just in case anybody needs or wants this information.


Viewing for the public will take place:
Monday, March 31st 5-8 PM at 
Stroud Funeral Home
538 N. Hwy 288B 
Clute, TX 77531 


And April 1st 9:30-11 at 
St. Michael’s Catholic Church
100 Oak Dr S, 
Lake Jackson, TX 77566

Funeral Services will begin at 11:00.

Dear Matthew

Dear Matthew,

This morning, around 9:30, you left us.  We are going to miss you so much.  I know that you did so many things in this life to try to protect us from hurt.  This hurts, but we will be OK.  Thank you for allowing us to share this journey with you.

This life wasn't the easiest for you.  You faced many adversities, and your day-to-day as an adult was anything but easy or comfortable.  Yet, you did it, and then you did more to help others.  We knew that, but it was only through this journey, that we were able to see and share just HOW MANY people you made an impact on in this life.

  I have faith that we will see you again.  Until then, we will carry your memories with us as an inspiration and a reminder that we are here to help each other.

http://youtu.be/vTnWFT3DvVA

Love Always,

All of Us

**************************************************************

Thank you to all of his friends and our extended family.  Arrangements will be posted when they are finalized. 

Wednesday--3-26

It is unbelievable...so many people know and love Matthew.  So many of you don't know him, but have shared the journey, prayed for us and him, and loved us through the journey.  I started this blog to keep family and friends updated on his status.  To date, this blog has had more views than I would have ever thought possible...around 23,000.  To know that Matthew's story has touched that many people is just awesome.

The time draws near for Matthew to leave us on his next great adventure.  He has had several visitors today, but is unresponsive. His heart rate is high. Aunt Naomi and Uncle Vince are visiting this evening.


 We pray that he is comfortable for the remainder of his time. I pray that my parents can feel God's presence and find some comfort in that.

Matthew was a big Calvin and Hobbes Fan.

--It never makes sense...

Tuesday--My Way

Matthew was pretty unresponsive today.  He was not interested in any fluids.  He seems to be in pain when being moved around. He had some visitors yesterday and this morning.  Jeffrey has been watching TV with him....lots of nature shows and documentaries, which were things Matthew always enjoyed growing up.  


Our Aunt Debbie wanted to share the song...My Way, which suits Matthew so perfectly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egY8rUpxqcE

And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and ev'ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do , I saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
And through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
"Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way"

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
The right to say the things he feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!

We appreciate your prayers for peace and comfort during the final days. 

Monday again

The cover picture on Facebook is from the wedding of really close family friends Chris and Jennifer McCreary (2005). Here is another I would like to share.

It's Monday again...everybody's favorite day right?

Dominique, Matthew's usual hospice nurse was back today.  Matthew seems to like her---he will cooperate with her, which is always a good sign(but we like her too).  Matthew's heart rate was a bit on the high side, but his respirations are still improved from Friday.  He pretty much stuck to the bed today. He slept a lot, but he did drink some water, and make a couple requests to my Dad.

This poem has been on my mind lately.  I think it totally represents Matthew's fight.

Matthew didn't live his life in a way that everybody understands, but that is OK.  We love him anyway.  

Sunday ---what?

Friday we were told 24 hours.....it is Sunday.  Matthew was up, sitting in a chair, watching tv, and telling me that I needed to go "Have lunch with my co-conspirators."  When I was leaving I told him that I was sorry I had to go, but I needed to go home to Evan and Claire.  He told me, "It's your job."  

He is much improved.  He is also taking in fluids, which include a protein drink.  He has been asking for a lot of fluids. The swelling in his legs has gone down, and his respirations have improved.  He is still tired and needs some help getting around.  Although he is talking, it is very limited, and he is still nonreponsive at times.

  If you still want to visit, you still have some time.  If you still want to write, there is still some time.  Do not wait though, take the opportunity, not one of us knows how much time we have. 

Matthew has lived his entire life on his own terms.  He has never let anybody decide what he should do, how he should act, or pretty much anything else.  It seems that this journey will be the the same.  It will be on his own terms and in his own time.  

Thank you, Thank you, for the continual outpouring of love and support.  

Saturday--Still holding on

Apparently, Matthew didn't get the memo about his expected behavior. This evening he came downstairs (with help), tried to pour himself some coffee, and told us we were embarrassing him.  He didn't talk a lot today, but he let us know with his few comments that his sarcasm and sense of humor is still there.

Matthew had several visitors today, for which we are grateful.  This experience has definitely shown me that there are friends that we may not even know yet, and I am continually learning what an amazing man my brother is.   I want to share this song, and say thank you for all the love.
http://youtu.be/kluQZQ7WAjA

Friday

It is late, Jennifer and I drove in this evening, so everyone is here to sit vigil with Matthew.   The end is near.

Matthew is amazing.  He has still been up moving around.  He waved goodbye to some friends, who were visiting, and he responded to me when I asked some questions, and showed him some pictures.  He sat up in the bed, walked to the bathroom, and has actually been up and down the stairs today.  This should not be possible for him.  

If I haven't mentioned it lately, our mother is amazing.  She has been a devoted tireless and selfless caretaker.  We couldn't ask for more.

Amelia randomly found this in the house and brought it to Matthew.  I took it and moved it later, and she picked up again and brought it back.  She was insistent that he should have it.

You all have shown our family so much love.  It helps.  Every little bit helps.

Thursday

Matthew is actually home.  He wanted to go home, and they were able to get his pain under control, so they brought him home.  He was readmitted to hospice this evening, and was sleeping when I spoke with my mom.  He actually walked up and down the stairs too!  

Jeffrey, Stephen, and Emily are all in town.  They have been helping out with yard work and errands, etc.  

I have nothing else....

Wednesday

Matthew was much more alert and lucid today.   He had several visitors, and was responsive (a little) to them.  He was restless last night, and was wanting to get up quite a bit.  He sat on the side of his bed and ate ice chips. 

The hospice situation is still up in the air.  The case worker at MDA is actually the one looking for placement.  Several hospice facilities will not accept transfers, others won't do a pump for pain management, others don't have openings....etc...   For now, he is comfortable, and that is what we are most concerned about.  I asked why he has to move....insurance.   MDA offers a very high level of care, and insurance balks at paying for it if his care can be handled elsewhere.  It is possible that we may hear something tomorrow,  

There have been questions about visitors.  We are not refusing visitors, Matthew just may not be very responsive.  He also tires easily and sleeps a lot.  

We would still love for you to write a letter.  We are still sharing them with him.  You can email at dearmatthewletter@gmail.com or send via Facebook.  

For now, we wait, and watch, and pray.

Tuesday

Matthew was a little more responsive today.  He was able to tell the nurses he didn't like his sponge bath.  He also asked my mom, "What happened?"  He has been kind of agitated and keeps trying to get up out of bed.   Where he will finish his days is unclear.  The local hospitals do not accept hospice transfers.  MDA does not have inpatient hospice....this was a miscommunication/misunderstanding.  It is unclear whether we could keep him comfortable at home since he can't swallow.  I will share more as I know more.

I found this today, and thought I would share.....

As your time together draws to a close, remember that even though there is great sadness and difficulty in loss, you’re giving your loved one a great gift by accompanying him or her on such an important journey. 

Monday

Emily came in today, and is staying with Matthew tonight. I have heard that he was awake a bit, and that he made two sentences.  I hope I have these just right....they were..."Be quiet," and "Shut up."  So, I think that he is still in there.  He is sleeping most of the time.  At times, he is fairly unresponsive. I have included a picture.  He is covered in a lovely prayer shawl that was a gift from one of his friends at the bank.

Matthew's time left with us is short.  It is hard to tell exactly how short, because as you know, it is not up to us.  Last Friday, the doctors predicted 1-2 weeks.  

Our Grandfather Lawrence (Mom's Dad), passed away April 5, 2011--just one month before Matthew's diagnosis.  My Aunt Martha had a dream that I would like to share.  In her dream, my Grandfather came and talked to her.  He had the biggest smile on his face.  He said that he was getting ready to take Matthew home.  --Matthew loved his grandfather so....

A Move

Matthew has been moved to room 1256 at MDA.  This is the acute palliative care unit.  He is expected to stay there for the next 3-4 days, after which, he is expected to move to inpatient hospice.  They specialize in pain management.  His pain seems to be better controlled.  He is taking methadone now. He complains from time to time, but usually goes to sleep and is able to sleep through it.  He is sleeping the majority of the time, but he has been up for a couple of short walks.  Our desire now is for his suffering to be minimal.  Mom is currently at the hospital with him.  If you want to call or text her number is 856-296-3574.  He isn't up to talking much, but I have been reading him letters when he is up to taking the phone.


We are so appreciative of all of the Dear Matthew letters.  We have been so touched by them.  Thank you to all of you out there, that are walking this journey with us....whether you joined recently, or have been here all along.

For those that didn't know...this is a bit of Matthew's humor.  Matthew ended up with 3 cats--I don't know the story on that--but he named them, Death, Destruction, and Annacookie.  So he had, Death, Destruction -An-A-Cookie......

An Open Letter to Matthew-2

Dear Matthew,

My earliest memories are of you being born and coming home from the hospital.  I was a little more than 2...I don't remember a time before...

When you were little, you had a shirt that said, "Here comes trouble."  I used to blame you for everything.  I used to tell Mom and Dad, "Matthew wanted me to do it," when I would get into trouble for something. 

As you grew up, you were always dirty, scratched, and bug bitten.  You loved being outside.  You loved snakes, in fact, I am pretty sure that you are responsible for my fear of snakes......When I needed flowers for my science project, I could count on you to take me into the woods to find some water lilies.  You knew where to find them because you were always off in the "woods" exploring.  

We used to fight, but hey, you were my brother, that was what we were supposed to do, right?  It was usually because I was trying to be bossy, and you were refusing to go along with my authority.  

I will miss you....

*********************************************************************

....Update....Matthew is more comfortable in the hospital, but in order to keep his pain under control he is pretty sedated.  His oncologist came by to see him.  He recommended that we explore the option of hospice at MDA.  This is currently being considered.  He would have to be accepted, but the oncologist felt he would be a good candidate.  

The kids and I were visiting this week, so we go to spend some time with him before his turn for the worse, and we got to say goodbye at the hospital before we returned home.  

We greatly appreciate all of the prayers, thoughts, letters, and visits.  They have been wonderful for Matthew, and we are so appreciative as his family.  Thank you, Thank you...

Closer

Yesterday (Wednesday)evening Matthew started vomiting.  He took anti-nausea meds and extra pain meds, but woke during the night.  Vomiting continued this morning, along with a lot of pain.  The hospice nurse, Dominique came (she's wonderful by the way), and she gave him his options.  She explained that this was disease progression.  It is likely that he has a blockage caused by a tumor.  Matthew has chosen to return to the hospital to try to get some relief from the pain and vomiting.  He was admitted to MDA this evening.  They will work to get pain and vomiting under control.  Mom reports that he is resting now, and is very groggy even when he wakes. 

There are so many things I want to say, but for now, I ask for prayers for relief from his symptoms.  

If you still would like to write a letter, I encourage you to do so.  Time is not a friend.