Dear Matthew

Dear Matthew,

This morning, around 9:30, you left us.  We are going to miss you so much.  I know that you did so many things in this life to try to protect us from hurt.  This hurts, but we will be OK.  Thank you for allowing us to share this journey with you.

This life wasn't the easiest for you.  You faced many adversities, and your day-to-day as an adult was anything but easy or comfortable.  Yet, you did it, and then you did more to help others.  We knew that, but it was only through this journey, that we were able to see and share just HOW MANY people you made an impact on in this life.

  I have faith that we will see you again.  Until then, we will carry your memories with us as an inspiration and a reminder that we are here to help each other.

http://youtu.be/vTnWFT3DvVA

Love Always,

All of Us

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Thank you to all of his friends and our extended family.  Arrangements will be posted when they are finalized. 

Wednesday--3-26

It is unbelievable...so many people know and love Matthew.  So many of you don't know him, but have shared the journey, prayed for us and him, and loved us through the journey.  I started this blog to keep family and friends updated on his status.  To date, this blog has had more views than I would have ever thought possible...around 23,000.  To know that Matthew's story has touched that many people is just awesome.

The time draws near for Matthew to leave us on his next great adventure.  He has had several visitors today, but is unresponsive. His heart rate is high. Aunt Naomi and Uncle Vince are visiting this evening.


 We pray that he is comfortable for the remainder of his time. I pray that my parents can feel God's presence and find some comfort in that.

Matthew was a big Calvin and Hobbes Fan.

--It never makes sense...

Tuesday--My Way

Matthew was pretty unresponsive today.  He was not interested in any fluids.  He seems to be in pain when being moved around. He had some visitors yesterday and this morning.  Jeffrey has been watching TV with him....lots of nature shows and documentaries, which were things Matthew always enjoyed growing up.  


Our Aunt Debbie wanted to share the song...My Way, which suits Matthew so perfectly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egY8rUpxqcE

And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and ev'ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do , I saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
And through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
"Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way"

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
The right to say the things he feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!

We appreciate your prayers for peace and comfort during the final days. 

Monday again

The cover picture on Facebook is from the wedding of really close family friends Chris and Jennifer McCreary (2005). Here is another I would like to share.

It's Monday again...everybody's favorite day right?

Dominique, Matthew's usual hospice nurse was back today.  Matthew seems to like her---he will cooperate with her, which is always a good sign(but we like her too).  Matthew's heart rate was a bit on the high side, but his respirations are still improved from Friday.  He pretty much stuck to the bed today. He slept a lot, but he did drink some water, and make a couple requests to my Dad.

This poem has been on my mind lately.  I think it totally represents Matthew's fight.

Matthew didn't live his life in a way that everybody understands, but that is OK.  We love him anyway.  

Sunday ---what?

Friday we were told 24 hours.....it is Sunday.  Matthew was up, sitting in a chair, watching tv, and telling me that I needed to go "Have lunch with my co-conspirators."  When I was leaving I told him that I was sorry I had to go, but I needed to go home to Evan and Claire.  He told me, "It's your job."  

He is much improved.  He is also taking in fluids, which include a protein drink.  He has been asking for a lot of fluids. The swelling in his legs has gone down, and his respirations have improved.  He is still tired and needs some help getting around.  Although he is talking, it is very limited, and he is still nonreponsive at times.

  If you still want to visit, you still have some time.  If you still want to write, there is still some time.  Do not wait though, take the opportunity, not one of us knows how much time we have. 

Matthew has lived his entire life on his own terms.  He has never let anybody decide what he should do, how he should act, or pretty much anything else.  It seems that this journey will be the the same.  It will be on his own terms and in his own time.  

Thank you, Thank you, for the continual outpouring of love and support.  

Saturday--Still holding on

Apparently, Matthew didn't get the memo about his expected behavior. This evening he came downstairs (with help), tried to pour himself some coffee, and told us we were embarrassing him.  He didn't talk a lot today, but he let us know with his few comments that his sarcasm and sense of humor is still there.

Matthew had several visitors today, for which we are grateful.  This experience has definitely shown me that there are friends that we may not even know yet, and I am continually learning what an amazing man my brother is.   I want to share this song, and say thank you for all the love.
http://youtu.be/kluQZQ7WAjA

Friday

It is late, Jennifer and I drove in this evening, so everyone is here to sit vigil with Matthew.   The end is near.

Matthew is amazing.  He has still been up moving around.  He waved goodbye to some friends, who were visiting, and he responded to me when I asked some questions, and showed him some pictures.  He sat up in the bed, walked to the bathroom, and has actually been up and down the stairs today.  This should not be possible for him.  

If I haven't mentioned it lately, our mother is amazing.  She has been a devoted tireless and selfless caretaker.  We couldn't ask for more.

Amelia randomly found this in the house and brought it to Matthew.  I took it and moved it later, and she picked up again and brought it back.  She was insistent that he should have it.

You all have shown our family so much love.  It helps.  Every little bit helps.