An Open Letter To Matthew-1

Matthew,

I could see you as an old man...cranky with people, and yelling at kids to "Get off my lawn," but in reality you are a big softy.  There are many things that you have done in your life that inspire me.  You are one of the most selfless people I know (pretty sure it is an inherited trait).

For myself, I remember a time when I was really down.  You asked what was wrong.  I gave you a list of things (most of which you could do nothing about), but also listed that my shoe had broken and I didn't have money for a new pair.  You told me you were sorry you couldn't fix the other things, but then said "But I can get you a new pair of shoes." --And you did....  That was one of many acts....

 There are so many times that you have given when you yourself had so little to give.  You have given people a place to sleep--at times, even your own bed.  When your air was broken, you would let others take the room in your house with the window unit.  You would work 70 hours in a week, and then on your day off go help a friend in need of a favor.  Time after time you gave others everything you had to give...time, money, energy, your shoulder, and the list goes on and on.  There were times we were angry with you because you gave so much.

Your actions were not unnoticed, and I am sorry I never told you how proud I was of you.  You are a wonderful man and a wonderful human being.

Love,
Katie


PS...for the others that are reading this.  My brother is not without flaws :-)  He is cranky and gruff (at times), stubborn, messy, and is rarely seen without a leather jacket --even when it is summer...So please know, that this is not just me putting him on a platform...this is Matthew.

Dear Matthew

The hospice nurse came today.  Matthew has lost a little over 6 pounds since his visit to MDA last week.  She has added another patch to get him through the times when his regular patch is wearing off. 

 Emily started a project to allow people to share their favorite memories, stories, or any old thing they want to about Matthew.  If you don't really know Matthew, you can share how his story has impacted you.  Emily has shared brochures around Lake Jackson.  You can also find the Dear Matthew Project on Facebook at www.facebook.com/DearMatthewProject  .  Read below for more information.  You can send in multiple letters if you would like....

Do You Know This Man?

The Story So Far: In May 2011, Matthew began his epic battle against Stage IV Colon Cancer.  Despite the odds never being in his favor, he fought daily.  Still fighting like a mighty warrior, Matthew entered Hospice January 15, 2014. This news might break your heart, make you hug your loved one, and/or wish to yourself that you could do something. Well, You Can. You have one short window of opportunity. Join the “Dear Matthew” Movement.

The “Dear Matthew” Project:  Most are familiar with Dear John or a Dear Abby Letters – both letters provide the basic concept of the “Dear Matthew” letter.  However, the “Dear Matthew” Letter is different – it is empowering, it is forever, and, most importantly, it is rooted in love.  It is a letter (handwritten or typed) written to a loved one who is quickly approaching the end of their life.  Letters are written PRIOR to the person’s death, so our Matthew may:

(1)  Find joy and peace in by relishing in the memories and reminiscing about the countless good times, and

(2)  Know they are loved and will never be forgotten. 

The project is named in honor of Matthew Edward Haluska; Matthew means “Gift of God,” so writing a “Dear Matthew” letter is to send a letter that reinforces how precious the person is – so precious, he/she can only aptly be described as a “Gift of God.”  Lastly, the letters and pictures are being compiled into a book for my family – primarily for my parents (Earth Bound Angels), but if anyone else is interested in owning a copy, please reach out.

Dear Matthew Letter Topic Recommendations

L     Laughter: Life’s Best Medicine– Funny Matthew Stories (the more detail the better! Include dates, ages, names, etc!!)
Lessons Learned - Did Matthew teach you something?  Tell him about it.  Tell him how it impacted your life.
The Early Years – Describe Matthew as a baby/child.  What do you remember?  Share a favorite story or memory.
 Something for the History Books – aka an epic Matthew story that you will never forget.
*For the Future* – Describe Matthew to a stranger: what you love about him, quirks, best qualities, analogies- anything goes.
 Boy Scout Trail Tales – People who have a message that falls under this topic know exactly what I am talking about
 Remember When –  Share a memory (sad, funny, poignant, a snapshot in time) and how it makes you feel
Your Mother Would be Proud – When Matthew demonstrated to the world that his Momma Raised Him Right
Always On My Mind – Song, lyric, poem, or bible verse that reminds you of Matthew and why
 A 1000 Words – a child or you can draw a picture and submit it with a short note explaining the picture
What We Learned Along the Way – What you learned from Matthew’s journey and how it affected/impacted you.
The Ripple Effect – We May Have Never Met…and you don’t really know me…but
*This one is for the supporters - the friends of friends, people Matthew met once or not at all, the prayer groups, co-workers, etc.

Additional Instructions: (Write as many letters as you want) (I know you will not let Matthew down).

·      Typed Letters: DearMatthewLetter@gmail.com – I’ll send you  an email confirming receipt

·      Handwritten Letters: 402 Huckleberry St.  Lake Jackson, TX 77566

·       With submission, include your name, contact information, when you met or how you know Matthew

·      *Everyone is asked to please submit a For the Future “letter” (short as a sentence) these letters are for his future relatives.

·      Include a picture –from whenever, your favorite picture, it can coincide with your letter or not.

·      Questions: Check out the soon to be created Facebook Page or (2) Email DearMatthewLetter@gmail.com

***Dear Matthew content is  © 2014 by Emily G. Haluska. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Any use of materials, including reproduction, modification, distribution or republication, without the prior written consent, is strictly prohibited.

Scans

My ability to think of post titles has left me.

Matthew asked to go for another set of scans.  The news was not what we were hoping for.  I guess, despite what we know, a small part of us wants to keep hoping for and believing in a miracle.  The scan results kind of dealt those hopes a nasty blow.  Since January, Matthew's tumors have doubled in size.  He has multiple tumors in his liver.

Dad reports that Matthew didn't really react to the news.  He seemed tired.  He slept most of the day today.  His pain has been managed pretty well, and when his pain is under control he does pretty well.

My great-aunt spoke of Matthew's sacrifice--the fact that as a result of his illness, others may live.  Maybe that will be through research, or maybe because somebody will get treatment earlier.  So, I want to take this opportunity to urge people to deal with any symptoms that they may be experiencing.  Poop is not something we like to talk about.  It is embarrassing.  Don't let that deter you from taking care of any issues.  It takes years for stage 1 to move to a stage 4.  Taryn, my coworker that I have mentioned before, was actually misdiagnosed as irritable bowel because she was so young.  If you have symptoms, GET THAT COLONOSCOPY.  It isn't fun, but I guarantee you, waiting is worse for everybody involved.

Taryn has had her first liver surgery.  She came through with flying colors.  She will have a short procedure tomorrow, and then will return to Houston for her big surgery on April 3rd.  Continued prayers are appreciated.  I am happy to say that Tammy has returned to work.  We missed her and are glad to have her back and doing well.   Continued prayers are appreciated for these others that are fighting the colon cancer monster.

We continue to welcome visitors.  Matthew does tire, and it may be better to call and see if he has a good pain patch ahead of time.  856-296-3574 (Mom) or 3573 (Dad)

Keep on Truckin

People have asked ( or have been afraid to ask) how Matthew is doing.  His pain has been under much better control with the pain patches---but watch out if you catch him when they wear off.  

In the last two weeks he has had several visitors.  We are grateful to all those that have come to visit...the visits have been good for Matthew.  Jennifer went back, Ladd, the kids and I visited, and Emily and Jeff are there this week.  He has actually gone out with them and spent some time with other friends on several occasions.

For now, we ate grateful for the time we have.  Visitors are welcome...just give Mom or Dad a shout.