It's Real

It is here.  Matthew is being sent home from the hospital with hospice care.  He has been in so much pain.  He isn't ready to quit, but his body seems to be.  The doctor suggested he consider a trial, and if he improves, he could try chemo again.  Currently, he has lost too much weight and his blood pressure and heart rate have been too high to consider it


My sisters have both shared some thoughts, and I would like to share them with you (if you haven't seen them already)

From Rocky IV--via Jenny

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you're hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"

From The Velveteen Rabbit--via Emily

"Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'

'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit. 
'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.' 
'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?'

'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

To my velveteen rabbits. My love is beyond your imagination.

Once, when discussing music, Matthew told me he liked Johnny Cash.  This song came to mind when I heard the news. For those on a mobile device.  It is Johnny Cash's version of Hurt.

I started this post last night, but I couldn't finish it.  It makes it way too real.
Matthew will be at my parents' house.  Jennifer, the kids, and I will be visiting this weekend.  If you want to see or talk to Matthew, you can try Matthew's cell (979-665-9754), my Mom (856-296-3574) or Dad (856)296-3573.  Mom and Dad are both good with texts.

Pray for grace....